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The Annals of Jimlad


Appendices
Gillander's Travels
FAQ
The Works of Jimlad

The Mighty Companions
Teragram

Stigmund
Liam McD
Zoomtard
Neuro-praxis
abhcoide
Babette
Richie
Stephen Hill
Dave

lia-fail
Goatfiend

 

Prologue 

 

And they said of him that his life was pointless, but he said onto them: "My life isn't pointless", and they said thereof, "touche" and yet did nothing, even under the threat of a righteous claymore (replica).  And so he took it upon himself to pay homage to his own life thus:

Well, maybe my life is pointless as I can't think of anything to put on this web page.  I can tell you my name if you like?  No?  I won a prize once.  It's named after someone who actually did something cool (in nerd world) by designing the mechanisms by which quantum mechanics (among other things) is described mathematically, and also the mechanisms by which objects may rotate realistically in computer games such as Tomb Raider etc.  It wasn't me though.  I wonder did he get a prize for doing that?  Probably not, which surely makes me his superior.  Purely out of spite for his brilliance, I'm not going to mention his name.  I resent the fact that there is no prize after moi.

I have a back-up plan, in case this web page doesn't gain me some recognition.  I am now married, and if I achieve nothing in the next few years I will decide to have children.  Perhaps one will be enough.  I will use the child to validate my own life, using them as a channel to fulfill all the chances I've missed and providing me with a raison d'etre.  I am worried that my fiance is a little too stable however.  My child must have to fight for his (it will be male) sanity in order to become a fanatic thinker of his day.  Of course!  I will provide the troubled background, and my fun carefree wife will provide a stable footing necessary for his self advancement.  If she tries to back out I will sue her.

By the way, "moi" is French for "me".

 

 

The Annals

(a record of the great events of jimlad's life)

Long ago, jimlad began his rite of manhood.

On 17th February 2006, jimlad cut right through the naivety of our lives.

On 23rd February 2006, jimlad overthrew anarchy.

On 9th March 2006, jimlad named his wife to be.

On 15th March 2006, jimlad requested entry to the Conclave of Furious Thought.

On 8th April 2006, jimlad, who by that stage was a renowned teacher of wisdom, left those kids alone.

On 24th April 2006, jimlad made his first attempt to reach the gates of heaven in honour of Babette, after processing Babette's feast.

Returning rapidly to earth, the next day jimlad found a group waiting for him. He greeted them to much applause and was welcomed into their circle. He had finally been accepted as one of the great and furious thinkers.

On that same day, April 25 2006, jimlad presented the conclave of furious thought with his opening speech, wowing them with his whizzdom.

Soon afterwards, jimlad disapeared from society. Many thought that he had been captured by his enemies. Still others decided that he had become a recluse, abandoning his followers in order to develop some all encompassing philosophy of life that would change the world. It turned out that he'd simply got married, but once he'd secured his right to own the most beautiful woman in the world he returned, on June 1 2006, to the high society of the feuilleton era.

On that day, discovering that society had remained exactly the same as when he had left it an entire month ago, jimlad was almost about to tear himself away angrily from such life, but to the relief of the world he got distracted by an intrueging examination of the motivation behind female behaviour.

Having completed this study before the day's end, he went on to build a case study of the relationship between modes of transport and acts of charity.

It was on June 9 2006 that jimlad introduced a then struggling artist to the world's greatest cultural critic and genius, Stigmund Freud. A chance meeting perhaps, but it proved to be an event that changed the world. This artist was to become the great lia-fail, whose animation of Stigmund's subtle tyranny led to the deaths of millions of tiny ants. The actual knock-on effect has something to do with quantum mechanics, so you wouldn't understand it.


Monk of yore threatened by a righteous claymore


Ancient Monk of lore struggling in terror.

 


The Troubled Background


The Stable Footing


His Memoirs

On Faith And Human Understanding

On Godly Perspective

On The Search for Self